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By Yanover Blanco
Why did I leave the company that I spent 10 years building? The short answer is that I was forced out. I started the Fillo Painting with my father. We never made up a contract, we didn't have an operating agreement. It was informal because I trusted that my father would respect his word. He, like many other people, is honest in that they believe that they are honest. When they do something that goes against that belief they rationalize that for some reason or excuse "technically" they are still being honest. My father did this by promising me ownership but later rationalizing that he had meant as an inheritance. I had understood a 50/50 partnership, why else would I take part in it? . We continued in business for 10 years. Every bit of that time I was working hard to build the company up and at every turn he was either hanging back refusing to participate in planning, even when I would repeatedly invite him to strategize with me, or he was hanging out taking it easy. While he was taking it easy I was working 12 hour days 6 days a week sometimes 7. I worked during the day and dreamed about the business at night. Over the years I fought for ownership finally settling on 45%. He was convinced that the business existed thanks to him because he invested the small amount of capital we started with in the beginning but he didn't count the investment that I made, which was my unpaid or underpaid time for years. When I say underpaid I mean not even minimum wage. I did this with the understanding that we were partners! For years! In his mind he thought he was somehow doing me a favor, something that he would say to me when we fought, and we fought often. I say we fought because anything with him was a fight or you would get run over. I knew I should have left in the beginning but I was already invested. By the time I figured out the situation I was in, a year had passed, then two, then three. I was in too deep to let it go. All of my hard work, how could I? I tried bringing up a contract, an operating agreement… He refused. I should have left 1000 times…. but how could I abandon MY company… MY hard work! He was abusive, just as he had been throughout my childhood. Verbally and physically as well. We fought every year when it was time to split up our earnings. He would run all of his expenses through the business… profit was to be split after that. He thought that was honesty. He felt entitled to that. He undermined my decisions at every opportunity. My successes, even when they made him money, were offensive to him. They hurt his ego. The accomplishments of his son hurt his ego… Our last fight wasn’t out of the ordinary for him, it was indicative of our entire business relationship. The reasons for the fight were also the same as always. I went to talk to him about business… He took my business concerns as a slight… I don’t know how but he did. Actually, I do know how... I know it was his traumatic childhood, coming from a war-torn country. I know it was that he was not wanted or loved by his mother or father. I know. He somehow found a way to think I was trying to take control. Maybe he thought I was trying to cheat him because he was doing it to me. There was no logical reason but I know my father and this was normal for him. Everyone is out to get him. Everyone will betray you. Your mother, your father…. He raised me the same way. It took years for me to understand that this was not the right way to be, I still struggle with it. I know it stems from the rough life he has lived. When we had our fight at the height of our argument he swung at me, he charged at me. I could have easily taken this opportunity to get back at him for his lifetime of abuse and anyone that knew of his abuse would say I was justified… but I had restraint. I am proud of my self control. Coming from the childhood that I came from, coming from having a violent father like him... He repaid me by hitting me with a metal patio chair. Days later after things cooled down… I reached out in an email. Obviously we could not continue as partners... ...He refused to dissolve our partnership. As the majority owner he had the control. He thought he could hold me hostage, I suppose. Maybe he thought I would let it go… he had gotten away with beating me my whole life, beating all of my siblings, my mother… Why wouldn’t he assume that he could get away with it now? Not this time. It wasn’t the last straw, the last straw passed years ago... but I was done with him this time. I was not going to back down. He was going to have to figure something out. After months and lots of pressure, he bought me out. He bought me out, but at much less than what I put into the company, at much less than the company was worth… and he is still somehow mad at me. I had disrespected him. I had put him through a nightmare by not allowing him to get away with his actions. This IS MY FATHER… To understand his mentality I will share a short anecdote that he reminded me and my siblings of our entire life. His grandfather, who raised him because his parents abandoned him, was a man that none of his children would have the audacity to look in the eye…. They could not look him in the eye because this man would beat them. My father would recount this with a gleam in his eyes. With pride. That is what a man is supposed to be... That is my father. That is what he expected from his children. I have started my own company. My father might say he bought me out. He did but for at best 60% of what I put in. He is upset at me. I am going to let him go. I am letting go of the company that I built. I am letting go of any business relationship. I am letting go of any resentment. I am letting go of any hate or anger. I am also letting go of any love for him. It is not an easy thing to do. There are consequences for me and my family over it, but it is the right thing to do. I can’t raise my children around someone like that. I can’t allow them to believe that this kind of relationship is acceptable. I won’t. Sincerely, Yanover Blanco
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This is my Club Contest Winning Speech from 2021 Lets talk about it Religion, race... lets talk about it. Politics, immigration, police brutality... lets talk about it Keep in mind I DID NOT SAY... LETS YELL ABOUT, LETS ARGUE OR FIGHT ABOUT IT.. I said Let's talk about it... Many of us are concerned with the direction our society is headed in... especially due to recent events and we ask ourselves How did we get here... ill tell you We don't talk to each other... Not with those we agree with... that's easy... we have to be open to talk to those whom we do not agree with... If you're going to talk to someone you disagree with... you also have to listen to each other. Do I mean....when you're in a meeting and your boss says Liberals are going to ruin our country... is that a moment to discuss your political views... probably not... Do I mean... when you sneeze and someone says bless you... is that the moment to discuss your opinions on the church? NO There is a time and a place for everything.... I'm not saying do it every single time something comes up... but do it. When a friend or family member says something inappropriate, offensive or inflammatory and you don't let them know it's wrong, then you are tacitly giving them your implied approval.... They now feel more emboldened in their belief.... ...as we know, very bad things CAN happen... like when some of these people believe they are the "silent majority" if we just speak to those closest to us it doesn't even have to be that extreme, many small evils are perpetuated for the same reason and they go largely unnoticed.... and maybe these little evils don't affect us directly but they become part of the culture of our society and someone somewhere is suffering because of the perpetuation of these evils... But you know what that is how police brutality, and racism has gotten to where we are now.... We need to speak up... We also need to listen, we need to listen to other people's opinions... If their ideas are a little crazy sometimes people need a sane person to bounce their crazy off of... so they can hear a different perspective from someone... As a society we are too afraid of conflict... Too afraid to ruffle any feathers or antagonize anyone... If your racist uncle says something inappropriate... his feathers need to be ruffled... I was in a social group a while back and I kept hearing comments that made me feel like I was in the 1960's... and I said something... That makes me uncomfortable... It's offensive and I don't agree with it... and believe it or not it did not go over well HAHAHA.... Pause for 5 At first... but then the direction of banter changed... and the group became much more fun and inclusive... I know your efforts won't always be successful... But if we want to make our society a better place... we are going to have to accept a little discomfort... ...and don't always just confront... be more indirect... ask them to explain their point of view... if we start listening to each other... Listening to understand...You don't have to agree to have a conversation... I am definitely not saying to attack people for their opinions but they need to know that people disagree with them... and even if they don't admit it... they are being exposed to a different perspective... at the very least they are realizing that not everyone thinks that way! Maybe in expressing their feelings out loud to a person that patiently and politely responds they may change their mind... How many of the crazy things that have happened lately and in history would have been prevented if people were simply listened to or if people were sometimes told... I disagree with you and let me tell you why... I saw a story a while ago about a man of color was interviewing klan members... and in listening to them and showing them kindness they found their way out of that awful organization... If this man was able to do that... we can talk to our peers and empathize as well.... The next time a friend, a family member... a colleague says something inappropriate, offensive or inflammatory.... Let your response be. "LETS TALK ABOUT IT." |
Yanover Jairo BlancoHere is where you will get to know me and my inner thoughts. Tread carefully! Archives
August 2021
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